Risk free sex
Let's start our chat with (an axiom) something nobody can deny :
The only 100 % risk free sex is the one you don't have !
Our risky sexual behavior may be a result of lack of information, lack of courage in approaching these issues, of our indifference, ignorance, misconception or simply misunderstanding some information.
I'm sure you have been wondering at least once : "what if we don't take off the underware", "what if we do it in the tub or the shower ?", "what if I don't ejaculate ?", what if she's during menstruation ?", "what if we have only oral sex ?", "what if we just masturbate together ?" - "how risky can it be ?"
And at the same time you've seen in leaflets or heard or read in media, sentences like "the risk of passing HIV virus through anal unprotected sex is higher than through oral unprotected sex" or something like "in case of unprotected sex, the risk of an unwanted pregnancy is lower during menstruation".
I agree with the basic idea of this information : unprotected sex can lead to unwanted pregnancy or to infection with a sexual transmitted disease. But I disagree with the form of presenting this information. I think risk cannot be "bigger" or "smaller", "high" or "low", "major" or "minor", but risk. I disagree with presenting risk by "percentage" or "statistics".
What's the difference between a "minor" risk of 1 to 1000 or a "major" one of 10 to 100 ? Mathematically speaking the difference is very clear : 1 to 1000 means that the probability of happening is one of 1000 cases and 10 to 100 means that the probability of happening is ten of 100 cases. But I am not interested in the point of view of mathematics, but in the point of view of the person who may be a potential victim - WHEN will it be ? Maybe from the very fist time.
Presenting risk like "X situation is riskier (or less risky) than Y situation" can ignore the real potential of risk, particularly if this comes with lack of information, ignorance, bluff or uncontroled sexual impulse which, we all agree, can be very strong.
AIDS is not just a flu that we can "afford" every autumn. Unwanted pregnancy is not just a migraine that can be cured with an aspirin. These are serious situations with serious consequences for us and for the others.
That is why I think that risk must be presented as risk: there is risk or there is no risk. It's only probability that can vary. Risk must be acknowledged as well as the way of eliminating it. As long as risk exists we must be aware of it and we must understand that all our decisions must be taken accordingly. The "size" of risk is totally unimportant. We have to behave as if we deal with HIV risk infection in each case.
There's a risk anytime, anywhere. If you are aware of it act in consequence and protect yourself. How ? Simple : seek for information, learn as much as you can ! "Seximus" site is always available, but go beyond this information.